Summer of '13

For most of you, school has already been back in session. Summer is drifting to an end. For most of us, that also means bidding our summer romance farewell. Looking back, this year has been the most incredible year thus far in my life, so today, I want to write a completely heart-felt post, rather than one with facts and statistics to back it up. My post from a few months back titled "The Ugly Truth of Life" was one of the most genuine and vulnerable posts I've ever written. It was completely full of raw emotions. Since I'm going to be turning 19 in a few weeks, I want to dedicate this post as a reflection back to my life this past year, especially my summer of '13.

Looking back on my summer romance last year

In a period of almost 12 months, I have met so many amazing people, and grown up in ways that I never thought was possible. Right now, in this moment, I am filled with joy, gratitude, and love for everyone that has ever been in my life. Some of them have helped me out during the dark moments of my life; saved me from myself. Some others have taught me what it means to love, to lose and to say goodbye. Other friends of mine have shown me what a wild Friday night out is, how to be a teenager, and having schoolgirl crushes. I still remember every single night-out, every single drink being spilled all over each other, every song that we shared, every single hug, every kiss, every note being passed, the piggybacks, and all the nights that we stayed up just talking and thinking about the roads up ahead.

Last night, I had to say goodbye to someone who would mean so much to me in such a short span of time. I thought that after 18 years, I had felt it all and done it all; never would I have thought someone would actually be able to evoke an emotion that was totally foreign to me. Just a few months ago, I was starting to think that there might be something wrong with me because I was always feeling as though something was missing. I guess now I can surely say that the pieces just didn't fit.

In hindsight, I was naive for believing that when you like someone enough, sex will be the most intimate thing you'll ever experience. What I didn't realize back then was that with the right person, even a kiss can become the most intimate thing you can ever imagine. They say that when you're with the right person, all the songs will make sense. It can't be truer than that. I'll be the one to tell you this: when it's right, you'll feel it; you'll feel it deep in your core. When your lips touch, the world just fades away. The place and time ceases to exist, because the emotions that you're feeling are overriding your system. When you're in their arms, chills run down your spine and butterflies flutter in your tummy. You know it's something special when oxygen is no longer your top priority, because you never want their lips to part from yours.

A drawing that my ex did for my sweet sixteen

Coming back home last night, I became very emotional. I started reflecting back on the people that have come into my life and how each person has contributed in their own way, to carve out their own place in my heart. I feel extremely blessed to be given what I have been given, and to have met all those people. I am an agnostic, but how can you not believe in a guardian angel when you're always guided towards such blissful moments? How can you not believe in miracles when impossibly, in this small country, out of seven billion people on this planet, I've wound up meeting you guys?

I've been told that I'm too native and too optimistic to believe that the world is a beautiful place. I know that there are wars and people dying every second, but what point is there for us to focus on the ugly side of things? I want to focus on the rainbow, rather than the cloudy sky. I've been hurt, disappointed, broken, and underestimated. I learn from those, but I never keep it in my heart. I believe that my memory is too precious to be filled with the unhappy moments. Instead, I choose to capture every single beautiful moment that life has given me.

I like to think of life as a book -- each chapter being written as we go along. Some characters appear only for a while, whereas some other characters are there to stay. No matter how long you appear in someone's book, you'll always leave footprints in their hearts that won't be washed up by the sea. "Goodbyes" are an inevitable thing in life. Every good thing will eventually come to an end. I'm not very good with goodbyes; I'm an easy crier. But the way I see it, you have two choices as to how you can take that: either be glad that it happened, or be sad that it's over. They say it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Think of this as a "thank you" note, simply just for being in my life. I don't think I've told you enough how much you guys mean to me. I wish I could solidified the love and gratitude that I feel for you, wrap it up and tie it with a bow. Only that will make you understand how overwhelming this is. Some of you are probably miles away from me right now, but that doesn't mean a thing, for my memory of you will forevermore be tattooed on my heart. Whether it's here in the country, or across the continents, know that I'll never forget you. I still remember each and every little moment that we shared.

A little gathering with my friends

I want to keep this post as short as I can, so I'll wrap things up now. Life is hard, but when you have friends and loved ones to share it with, it won't be hard anymore. We only have one life to live, so live it to the fullest. I don't know when my last "tomorrow" will be, but whenever the time is, I know that I don't regret a thing. If I ever get to be old and gray, sitting on my front porch, drinking iced tea, I'll be reflecting back on my life and reminisce about how you have made my life more than worthwhile. I love you so much. Thank you for everything.

Love, Catherine

XOXO