A Dose of Cath

I realized that my recent blogs have been rather morbid and cynical. It's a reflection of my moods and the stage of life that I'm in, but I understand that negativity won't propel you forward much, so I'm writing this blog, which I hope will be uplifting for you and a healing process for me. For all you dreamers out there who feel dejected; for those of you who are dealing with one rejection after another, and are thinking of giving up, this one is for you.

On a clear Sunday morning, I walked through the gate of a primary school, Pi Thnou Primary School, in Battambang. The yellow buildings with spots of washed-out paint surrounding a sizable yard sent pangs of nostalgia with every step I took. But most of all, it was the smiling faces of children and young teens that sent me back to the time when I was their age—relishing in my innocence without a care in the world.

When I saw Meghan and Prince Harry's decision to leave their roles as senior royals, I completely understood. I saw how the media has been treating her. They were vicious and vindictive for absolutely no valid reason. I empathized with her. A few years ago, I wouldn't have understood. But last year, I had the biggest revelation of my life when my entire life was torn, picked apart and scrutinized by the general public, leaving me standing there bare as if I was stark naked for millions of people to see.

This particular post is not going to be cheerful. The words to this came to mind as I was cocooned deep in my blanket, trying to squeeze my eyes shut, but flashes still running through my mind. My head was a turmoil of emotions, most of which were not very pleasant. If you are sad or are experiencing depression, this post will probably trigger you. But that's life; it's not all sunshine and rainbow. At one point in life, most of us would say, "My life sucks." I have been there, even got the full membership, though I only visit from time to time.

"What's your career plan?" "Where do you see yourself in five years?" Maybe it's because I recently turned 25, or maybe people think I'm this extremely organized and orderly person who has it all planned out; but lately, I have been on the receiving end of these questions a lot. Every time it's uttered out, a flutter of panic rises like a lump in my throat, and I have to swallow a few times to respond. 

[English Below]   តើវាជា​ការបន្លើសដែរឬទេបើសិនជាខ្ញុំនិយាយថា ការរំលោភបំពានផ្លូវភេទ គឺជាអ្វីដែលស្រ្តីគ្រប់​រូបនៅ​ប្រទេស​កម្ពុជា​តែងតែមានកង្វល់រហូត? វាមិនមែនជាការបន្លើសនោះទេ ខ្ញុំនឹងបកស្រាយ។