A Letter to Dreamers: Just Keep Swimming
I realized that my recent blogs have been rather morbid and cynical. It's a reflection of my moods and the stage of life that I'm in, but I understand that negativity won't propel you forward much, so I'm writing this blog, which I hope will be uplifting for you and a healing process for me. For all you dreamers out there who feel dejected; for those of you who are dealing with one rejection after another, and are thinking of giving up, this one is for you.
If you are on my Facebook friends list, you probably know that I have been writing a book. Two books, to be exact. I started my first book in 2018 after my friend and I talked about ghosts in her old house. It became a series of "what ifs", which later spun into a full book. Upon finishing the manuscript, I queried for a while until I decided to shelf the book because I thought the market for it was too small and I didn't want it to be my debut.
Then in 2019, I began writing another book. This time, it was deliberate. It's a YA Fantasy, a genre that is very close to my heart. This time, it wasn't a trial test anymore. It was a project that I have poured my heart and soul into it. After months of writing, a round of beta readers, and five drafts later, my manuscript is polished. Or at least as polished as it could be.
Needless to say, the journey hasn't been smooth-sailing. I entered a pitch contest back in September called Pitch Wars, hoping that I would get a mentor to help me with my book and ultimately end with an agent showcase. I didn't get in. It was heartbreaking, but I kept moving forward. I began querying my book in December and paused after realizing that it was the holiday season. I sent out another batch in January and another one a few days ago.
I haven't been querying heavily. I have received four rejections thus far with this project. I won't lie; each rejection stung and made my heart bleed a little. I have cried. Not only am I stressed out about this querying process, but I have bitten off more than I can chew. I am burning out. Last night was my third breakdown in the span of five days.
I promised you an uplifting blog, but you're probably thinking that I'm being a downer again. Alas, I'm a woman of my words.
After seeing all the Pitch Wars mentees and all the agents' requests, I felt dejected. I cried and thought I would never find an agent and I would never get published. But that was yesterday. Today, I picked myself back up, put on my big girl's tights and began taking a stroll down the internet lane. I am not ready to give up. I finally stumbled upon another mentorship program. Once again, my excitement is renewed. I am ready to put myself and my work out there again, risking rejections and more heartache.
But you know what? I am not ready to give up.
The most sure-fire way to not achieving your dream is giving up. If you stop before you get there, you will never make it. Everyone gets rejected at one point in their lives. You can either treat the rejection as a wall that turns you away from your dream, or you can grab a ladder and climb the wall. With every wall, you become more skilled. Your hands develop callouses and you won't even bat an eye when you have to grab hold of each brick, lifting yourself up and over that obstacle, one inch (or centimeter) at a time.
I've had successes in my life, and I've had failures, too. There are days when I remind myself of how far I have come, but there are days when the voices
of failure are too loud for me to bear. But your dream is there because you want it. You want it so badly that your heart breaks and yearns for that day when YOU HAVE FINALLY MADE IT. And that is worth the fight. That is worth every drop of blood, sweat, and tear.
It's okay to feel dejected. It's okay to feel disheartened. Cry if you must. Get a glass of wine. Watch your favorite movie. Rant to your friends. Pour your heart out in a tweet. However, when tomorrow comes, get yourself back out there. Practice your crafts. Take another step forward. Those who fail are those who never try in the first place.
I know it's hard. But I promise you that it will be worth it. All it takes is one person to believe in you so passionately that their fire will burn you in the most delightful way. And if you can't find that person, let it be you.
Whatever you do, just keep swimming.
If you are on my Facebook friends list, you probably know that I have been writing a book. Two books, to be exact. I started my first book in 2018 after my friend and I talked about ghosts in her old house. It became a series of "what ifs", which later spun into a full book. Upon finishing the manuscript, I queried for a while until I decided to shelf the book because I thought the market for it was too small and I didn't want it to be my debut.Then in 2019, I began writing another book. This time, it was deliberate. It's a YA Fantasy, a genre that is very close to my heart. This time, it wasn't a trial test anymore. It was a project that I have poured my heart and soul into it. After months of writing, a round of beta readers, and five drafts later, my manuscript is polished. Or at least as polished as it could be.
Needless to say, the journey hasn't been smooth-sailing. I entered a pitch contest back in September called Pitch Wars, hoping that I would get a mentor to help me with my book and ultimately end with an agent showcase. I didn't get in. It was heartbreaking, but I kept moving forward. I began querying my book in December and paused after realizing that it was the holiday season. I sent out another batch in January and another one a few days ago.
I haven't been querying heavily. I have received four rejections thus far with this project. I won't lie; each rejection stung and made my heart bleed a little. I have cried. Not only am I stressed out about this querying process, but I have bitten off more than I can chew. I am burning out. Last night was my third breakdown in the span of five days.
I promised you an uplifting blog, but you're probably thinking that I'm being a downer again. Alas, I'm a woman of my words.
After seeing all the Pitch Wars mentees and all the agents' requests, I felt dejected. I cried and thought I would never find an agent and I would never get published. But that was yesterday. Today, I picked myself back up, put on my big girl's tights and began taking a stroll down the internet lane. I am not ready to give up. I finally stumbled upon another mentorship program. Once again, my excitement is renewed. I am ready to put myself and my work out there again, risking rejections and more heartache.
But you know what? I am not ready to give up.
The most sure-fire way to not achieving your dream is giving up. If you stop before you get there, you will never make it. Everyone gets rejected at one point in their lives. You can either treat the rejection as a wall that turns you away from your dream, or you can grab a ladder and climb the wall. With every wall, you become more skilled. Your hands develop callouses and you won't even bat an eye when you have to grab hold of each brick, lifting yourself up and over that obstacle, one inch (or centimeter) at a time.
I've had successes in my life, and I've had failures, too. There are days when I remind myself of how far I have come, but there are days when the voices
of failure are too loud for me to bear. But your dream is there because you want it. You want it so badly that your heart breaks and yearns for that day when YOU HAVE FINALLY MADE IT. And that is worth the fight. That is worth every drop of blood, sweat, and tear.It's okay to feel dejected. It's okay to feel disheartened. Cry if you must. Get a glass of wine. Watch your favorite movie. Rant to your friends. Pour your heart out in a tweet. However, when tomorrow comes, get yourself back out there. Practice your crafts. Take another step forward. Those who fail are those who never try in the first place.
I know it's hard. But I promise you that it will be worth it. All it takes is one person to believe in you so passionately that their fire will burn you in the most delightful way. And if you can't find that person, let it be you.
Whatever you do, just keep swimming.
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