Fame Is A Curse

When I saw Meghan and Prince Harry's decision to leave their roles as senior royals, I completely understood. I saw how the media has been treating her. They were vicious and vindictive for absolutely no valid reason. I empathized with her. A few years ago, I wouldn't have understood. But last year, I had the biggest revelation of my life when my entire life was torn, picked apart and scrutinized by the general public, leaving me standing there bare as if I was stark naked for millions of people to see.

I've been meaning to write about this for a while now, but after having been told that people are still dissecting my life, I thought now would be as good a time as any.

Let me tell you something. As someone that is considered to be a public figure. Fame is hell. People think that being famous is a goal to strive for. After all, who wouldn't want to be known by the public?

Credit: NBC.com

That's what's I thought, too. But when you're in the spotlight, everyone has an opinion of you, people whose faces you've never even seen. Everyone thinks they know everything about you, and everyone wants a piece of you. Reality gets twisted until it's barely recognizable. People become detached and no longer think that the person behind the screen that they are tearing apart is a human being just like them. A human being who feels emotions, who can feel hurt, and who just wants to live their life.

If you've never had to tell half a million people the details of your break up or trying to defend yourself, consider yourself lucky. In the midst of witnessing my long-term relationship crumbled, exposing years of lies and betrayal, I had to put on a front for everyone. I had to be okay. I didn't have time to grieve. I didn't have time to sit around eating ice cream and crying my eyes out. If I was emotional, then I would be too emotional. If I wasn't emotional enough, then I must be lying. I had to decide which button on this body suit that people seem to think I have that I have to press so that I don't seem like my world is being pulled from under me.

I was just told, blindsidedly, by a reporter that he obtained a copy of my ID. Imagine that. My personal documents shared around like it's a bag of chips passed from one person to another on a Friday night. My first thought was how violated I felt. It felt like suddenly, privacy no longer exists for me. I am a public figure. I live in a glass house like a gold fish in a bowl where everyone can see me, study me, judge me, and decide whether I'm a villain or a hero.

When I see celebrities committing suicide, I understand. The pressure is too high. There's only so much a person can take. A public figure is not invincible.

Truth be told, I do not enjoy going out anymore. I do not enjoy seeing the recognition flared in a stranger's eyes and wonder what kind of rumors they have heard about me and what their perception of me is. I would rather stay at home, enjoy my books in the company of my dogs who will never judge my characters in any way shape or form.

I used to get caught up in celebrities scandals and I thought it was terribly exciting. But no more.

As you're reading this, I want you to understand that the person that you see on the screen is a human being just like you. If you don't want other people to dig into your life and violate your privacy, you have to understand that other people feel the same way. I hope that you will learn to be kind to one another rather than enjoy dragging someone else down.

Most of all, I hope that you won't take part in making someone else's life miserable.