"No Sir, I Did Not Ask To Be Rape" -- The Spread of Rape Culture
Let me share with you a very clever analogy about sexual assault that I wish I was the one who came up with it. Unfortunately, I found it on twitter. Here goes:
That analogy never gets old. There's even a video of it. I have attached the video down below. Yes, it's a serious issue, but when shown like this, I found it hilarious how stupid the excuses to defend the rapists are.
I have seen comments ranging from: "You only know one side of the story", "She didn't know him well and she went to a karaoke bar with him, so she's obviously not a good girl" to "Why are men always the victims" and my personal favorite "She wanted to sabotage him. That's why she made this up." Oh, and don't forget the "she was asking for it" part.
Sigh. I don't even know where to start. He is arrested because there is evidence against him. If you can just file a report and get a person arrested without bringing in any proof, all of us would be locked up by now. For all I know, the system f-ed up and he was being framed, but that's besides the point. If you're outraged by people who blame the guy for raping her, then why are you okay with blaming the girl for being raped? You still only know one side of the story, don't you?
Yes, she didn't know him well enough. Shame on her for not having trust issues, right? Shame on her for trusting people. Apparently, in this society, we don't try to teach people to start respecting one another, we are teaching people to not trust each other.
Men are not ALWAYS the victims, but in this case, again, there are proofs or he wouldn't have been arrested.
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| Source: anchalproject.org |
Yes, she wanted to sabotage him by letting the world know she was raped. Because that's such a good reputation to leave behind, right? Because she knew that she would not be blamed by people like you, right? Because her parents or relatives would be proud of her if she declared herself a rape victim, right?
Yes, she might've had some alcohol. But that DOES NOT mean that she can be raped. Having sex with someone without their consent is considered illegal. And consent cannot be given by a person who is underage, mentally incapable of giving consent, OR a person who is intoxicated or affected by drugs. It is actually what's written in the law.
And no, boys will not always be boys. That's like saying a thief will always be a thief. You can't change them. That's how they are.
In Cambodia, a UN report came out that says 1 in 5 men in Cambodian men have raped. Sexual assault doesn't only happen in developing countries. Sweden has become the number two on the global list of rape countries. Sexual assault cases are still alive and well because people are spreading the rape culture and blaming victims for something that is out of their control. Many rape victims don't report the crime because they are afraid of being blamed, shunned or looked down upon.
Let me get this straight for the millionth time. It does not matter what a person (mostly girls, but men can be raped, too) wears, how much drugs or alcohol is in her system. Unless that said person is in stable mindset that is able to give consent, then it's rape. If a person says yes earlier, but changes his/her mind later and the other person proceeds to have sex with the said person anyway, it's rape.
If a person rapes someone else, that person is a rapist. It does not matter if that person is a football star, a celebrity, a red-cross volunteer, a priest, a monk, the president, the governor, the victim's own relative or parent; a rapist is a rapist. If a husband/boyfriend has sex with their wife/girlfriend, then it's still rape -- vice versa.
A girl should be able to go about in public or a dark alley without feeling threatened or fear being assaulted. If a man is able to go around without fearing that he will be sexually assaulted, so should we. Don't tell us that if we don't want to be raped, we should not go out at night, go to bars, or drink. We are simply practicing our freedom to roam around as a human being, too. If you were us and you were given restrictions just because you were born a certain gender, you would probably feel the way we feel, too.
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| Source: studentsforliberty.org |
We should teach people not to rape, not teach people how to wear or where to go to not be raped. Teach young boys to respect, not teach young girls to be fearful or not trusting others. I know some people will go on and say, "It's a bad bad world out there. You shouldn't trust strangers. You have to be on the lookout." To that, I say, many rapists happen to know the victim; i.e. friends, family members... Does that mean you shouldn't trust your friends or family, too? Does that mean you shouldn't go anywhere alone with them? Then with whom shall you go out with? By yourself? But that would defeat your defense of saying that a girl shouldn't be out by herself now, wouldn't it?
Oh, and finally, what we wear has nothing to do with what we want. No means no. Even if we are walking around in short skirts or even naked, we are not asking to be raped. We do not open our closets in the morning and think, "Huh, what should I wear today to be raped/not to be raped." If a person wants to have sex with you (you as in the rapists' fans), he/she will ask or agree once asked. DO NOT make assumptions. I know you can't read minds, so don't pretend that you do.
If you have any comments or want to share with me your experience with the pro-rapists, leave a comment down below. If you want more of this, follow me on twitter @adoseofcath or like my facebook page "A Dose of Cath".
Love, Catherine
XOXO
Sources:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/25/rape-report-robbery-victim-blaming_n_6751560.html
http://www.buzzfeed.com/derekj/if-mugging-were-treated-the-same-way-as-rape-r76
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/25/rape-culture-hashtag-twitter_n_5029729.html
http://reason.com/blog/2014/11/21/a-different-way-to-look-at-rape-culture
http://www.gatestoneinstitute.org/5195/sweden-rape
https://www.cambodiadaily.com/archives/un-report-says-1-in-5-cambodian-men-have-raped-42122/
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